Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Perinatalogist visit 24 weeks

Perinatalogist appointment today. I am a 2.9- YA! so stayed steady for a week, my next appointment is not for two weeks- since I have been okay and we are past 24. The little guy is looking good. At first his  right kidney still looked dilated, but when the doctor looked, apparently he had relived himself, it looked normal :). But the intestines were showing up bright- which could from my bleeding before, or could mean cystic fibrosis, down syndrome, potential low birth weight, or nothing. The doctor asked if I wanted to get an amniocentesis to check for down syndrome, I was kind of shocked with one indicator that she would offer. I said we didn't need it. The only difference it would make anyway would I would do some research on down syndrome... he is right on for size and active. I am starting to get pains from him pushing up higher, I think he bruised my liver the other day ;).
Last night I was trying to straighten up a little, just in case my cervix had dangerously shortened and I would be admitted to the hospital. I know I am really blessed- things have been going well, but this is still horrible. I really hate bed rest. I hate not being able to take care of Avi. I hate that both me and my daughter are a burden on others. It is like the stupid deployment- I hate it. I want it just to be over but there is nothing I can do. I can only choose to have a better attitude, some days that is harder than others. I just lay around I shouldn't be the one complaining. I can't change it so I just have to deal. I am tired of the fear, I am tired of my body being sore and weak, I am tired of me and Avi being a burdening others. I want Gunnar home, I want him to here taking care of us, I want to be up. Maybe I am not dealing very well tonight...
Avi cuddled up to me tonight as I sang to her. I love her cuddles. She slept through the night last night! She is distinctly saying "no". She is getting taller- her dresses are shorter on her and she needed new tights. Today dinner was later than usual. I think Avi thought we were trying to starve her. I gave her a piece of bread to snack on, then some bites of dried fruit. I put away the food. Avi came over got my snack tupperware and carried it out crying for more food. It was rather cute, considering the box is at least half of her. She just had had some so I had her wait, but I snuck in a banana before dinner too.

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