Avi thought the nurse call/remote thing was a phone.cookies and cream brownies for dinner at Erin's. The brownies are amazing! Yummo!
When I got to Erin's I let her know my cervix had changed more then originally thought. She requested I lay down on the couch for the rest of the evening. When we got home I put Avi to bed then started getting myself ready. I noticed a little bit of spotting and my heart fell. I called Labor and Delivery and asked them what to do. They said call your doctor or come in. The doctor's office was closed. I called mom, she had taken Jaxon to a play. She was on her way home. I called Erin to have her come over to be with Avi. Mom got here first. We waited for Erin. When she got here, it was decided for her to come, since she is the one with pregnancy complication experience.
I got checked in to labor and delivery. As the nurse asked me questions, Erin was on the phone with registration. The lady from registration would not believe Erin that Gunnar's name was Gunnar. Then the lady asked for his middle name. She thought Erin was crazy. So Erin passed the phone to me. I wasn't sure if my insurance had approved the new doctor, so I told them the doctors I had been going to. My heart fell when they told me the doctor on call was the one who had been so mean that week. The nurse called him, asking what he wanted done. The charge nurse came in to check me. She said I was one cm dilated and 80% effaced. The nurse who was caring for me seemed a bit lost at what to do (she was way sweet, but she said they don't get many women coming in this early- I was about 21 weeks). They monitored me for contractions. It is hard to pick up this early, but we think I had a couple. I called Gunnar's parents. They arranged to have Uncle John Maddox come to give me a blessing.
Later the doctor came. He was much nicer! He admitted that he deals with a patient like me once every several years, and the studies are not completely comprehensive. He arranged to have me meet with a perinatalogist the next day- actually at that point we were into the middle of the night, so later that day.
Sonja had come over and when Emily came home, mom came over as well. It was about three or four am when everyone went home-no point in someone staying when they could sleep comfortably at home.
I just wanted Gunnar. I wanted at least to talk to him. I had not talked to him for about two days, and had no idea of when and how we could get a hold of him. I hated it. Sonja and Erin sent him messages on Face Book. I even called mom and asked her to put a message directly on his page- not the most private and kosher ways of dealing with a situation like this, but I desperately wanted to have him find out as soon as possible, and he is not the best at reading his messages. Thankfully Gunnar got the message and called Saturday afternoon.
I do not want to loose my little boy. He has been so active. I had just started being able to see my belly move when he moves. I did not want to loose this sweet little life inside of me.
I know this is part of mortality, but it really is an awful thing to have a body that doesn't naturally hold your babies in. I had prayed so hard to know if I should get a cerclage this pregnancy. Did I miss the answer? I don't know.
I met with a perinatalogist Saturday a bit after talking to Gunnar. She did an ultrasound to check things out. What a busy boy I have inside! and he is proud to be a boy :)- no question about his gender! He is sooo cute!! Thankfully I was still about a 3 cm cervix- some measurements said as low as 2.8, but average about a 3. She told me of a new treatment of a (pretty sure it is a progesterone) suppository to strengthen the cervix- so we were to try it out and to do bed rest.
The doctor on call for the day gave me the prescription, and told me the perinatalogist was being over careful, that I was just fine and had nothing to worry about. I smile and nodded- glad I was getting away from this office of doctors. Maybe I could just be up and things would be fine, but obviously things were changing when I was, and he wants me to risk my baby's life??? I was so frustrated he was not taking me seriously- even in the hospital. At least the doctor the night before admitted there was a problem!
So mom and Em moved me and Avi to Erin's house. Poor Erin! What a crazy week. We got the internet put in on Tuesday- but the router we had wouldn't work with it, so she had to get another, then that did not work- after spending all day trying to get it to work, so the next day she got another- more problems, then it turned out, the problem-this time was my laptop. Erin lost two days to trying to get the internet going so I can have a chance to communicate with Gunnar. Let alone she is taking care of me and Avi and trying to still care for her own family. I hope things will get easier! She called her book club and had them come to her house so I could go- I have been trying to do book club for a while, but something always comes up!! Ya for book club!!
Oh, on Sunday mom reminded me I had been asked to give the closing prayer in sacrament meeting- she gave it for me :). I think I should never agree to do anything in sacrament meeting when I am pregnant- last time with Avi, we had been asked to give talks the weekend I went on bed rest.
It has been hard on me not be able to really be a mother to Avi. I am just on the bed or the couch. It is such a wonderful privilege to be a mother. It kills me to not be the one caring for her- and to see how it is so demanding on Erin's family care for her. I never want to do bed rest again. It is horrible enough to not be able to care for one child- I cannot imagine two. Not to mention the soreness and weakness that comes with bed rest, the emotional and mental trauma.. the feelings of uselessness and fear of loosing or having a baby come with so many problems.
But there has been blessings. Avi is now beginning to fold her arms for prayers, I think Aliea and Jaxon have been a good influence for her that way. At my appointment on Friday, they used the 3-D ultrasound for a minute! We got to see his handsome little face! And best of all... My cervix has lengthened to a 4.5!!!! Amazingly long!!! The perinatalogist still wants me on bed rest because things can change so quickly. We are going to monitor the next couple of weeks- get to viability- and maybe I can do a modified bed rest!! We shall see.
Avi and I are at my mom's for weekend. Avi has had much more interest in playing with me since Aliea and Jaxon are not around- last night I felt better with getting on the ground and playing with her- since my cervix is looking so good. I hope I can play with her more, so Erin doesn't have to watch her as much. I am so thankful the medication and the bed rest is working. It will be interesting to monitor and see if it is more the bed rest or the medication that is making the difference.
I am 22 weeks today.
Erin made French Onion soup the other day- yum!!
2 chopped onions- she did a yellow and a red- saute till clear
water and beef -paste- whatever- I have bouillon in my cupboard
Let that simmer a bit- her teacher that taught her let it reduce several times- and added more seasonings each time- I thought once was very flavorful.
In oven safe dishes put a piece of french bread in the bottom, add soup, and top with cheese. Bake in oven around 425* till cheese is melted and browned.