Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Two Day- Two doctors appointment

Yesterday I saw a perinatalogist. My cervix is still about 2.8 :). So we are going to try modified bed rest, and go back in two weeks to see how we are doing. The perinatalogist that was there was not my regular doctor. He did not read my full file and was rather fast in my visit, maybe because they were behind schedule by forty minutes... I ended up calling the perinatalogist I regularly see to ask her a few more questions- she was the one that told me try the modified bed rest... She was explaining modified bed rest-saying I could get up a bit more, but I was to do no house work, no cooking- only simple meal prep. no lifting Avi, and no intercourse- when she said no intercourse-I responded that it would not be a problem, she started to explain that it really was important to not have intercourse- I then reminded her that Gunnar was in Afghanistan. It just made me laugh because I wondered what she thought I was thinking when I said it was not a problem...

Yesterday I made an Adorable Bear hat for Avi- I basically followed the pattern Seriously so cute! I added a small butterfly that was sweet touch to make it more fitting for Avi. It came together really quickly which was fabulous.
I also started on an owl hat for Avi, but today I found I made it too long, so I took out more than half today. I tried out four different patterns for crocheted roses tonight, as I listened to General conference talks- Here is the link for what I think is my favorite of the four.
I had lab work done today-glucose testing and tests for infection- since we saw the eccobowel. And later I had my OB/GYN appointment. I am now 132 with a 26inch belly. Baby's heart rate is good. The funny thing I had a little sinking feeling when I saw 132- that moment of oh no- I am back in the 130's... But really I am pregnant!! and it was not long ago, that I could not believe I had made it below 140 let alone 135 or... It is healthy regular weight gain so far, I just wish half my weight gain didn't go to my love handles, I don't just pop-I thicken when I am pregnant. Like it matters right now anyway!
The Relief Society presidency came to visit me today- They are so sweet!  I was really impressed how quickly they got me visiting teachers and they have come to visit me- and I don't even go to church... maybe that is why...Well, they have been one of the fastest R.S. presidencies to come in and meet and assign visiting teachers that I have had.
Sonja drove us and helped take care of Avi while I did the labs/break/Dr. appointment. I think it was nice for Erin to have a break! She was able to take Jaxon to Trafalga- and she said it was nice to be able to actually be able to do some of activities.
I have been able to talk to Gunnar on the phone three days in a row now- we are on a roll, but I doubt we get to talk tomorrow- three is the longest stretch of consecutive calls I get. I had a spectrum of feeling for him today. I was really missing him earlier. I longed to just have him here, but then later I was feeling numb towards him. I felt like he was kind of fading from me in a way, he just seemed to be this distant figure that I worry about. I think I need to do better on focusing on his good points- I listened to Elder Holland in "How do I Love Thee?" I need to be a better spouse.
Sonja brought Christmas presents from Gunnar's parents for Avi. She was allowed to open one of them, because she can use them this winter- it was a pair of snow boots. We put them on her feet- and to my surprise, she did not like! She had a really hard time standing and tried to get them off-she is use to the light leather/cloth shoes. She'll get use to them... but it was rather funny to see her try to stand. I love her soo much.

Monday, November 28, 2011

hats and poop everywhere

Back to Erin's house. Poor Avi is officially allergic to milk. We had stopped giving it to her for about the last week, and yesterday without thinking I shared my granola with her. About twenty minutes after she was fussy and just wanted to lay with me. For the rest of the day she basically had diarrhea. Poor kid!
While at mom's I finished the fourth book to Work and the Glory, made a bear ear hat for the little guy and for Avi, and had lots of good snuggle time with Avi. Oh! and the excitement of the weekend- Avi's rash is getting better, but it is still a bit there, so I while I was getting her ready for bed one night- I let her air out. She was so cute running around naked! She went over to my mom's door and peeked into her room and was saying "boo". It took mom a minute to see her, when she saw her she told Avi to come in. In pushed the door slightly open. Avi was still standing in the hall, and I saw a little piece of brown starting to come out of her rear end...I panicked! I grabbed a wipe and ran over. A little late- plop on the floor. I wiped her bum and scooped her up- more poop fell- falling onto my pants and the ground. My mom was to be by that time- asking to take Avi- I was so panicked- it suddenly hit me- I am on bed rest! I am not suppose to be up! or picking up Avi! Sweet mom cleaned up and I got back in bed and got Avi ready for bed.
Tonight Erin took Avi with her family to Trafalga. Avi surprisingly did not like the carousel-it was a favorite for her at Disneyland. Avi enjoyed being her in the little umbrella stroller- I was also shocked, she usually get tired of being in a stroller rather quickly.
I made a really really cute owl baby hat for the baby today. It took me all day! but I am really pleased with the results, when I figure out pictures- I will put one on. I combined so many patterns and did my own changes, that I don't think it worth it to link to the patterns I used.
I got to talk to Gunnar today. He asked me what we should name the baby. He shot down my ideas and didn't have any of his own- because he doesn't have any name books over there... I have sent him suggestions in the past too, but he doesn't like any yet. I am honestly thinking I am just going to decide something for myself. But it was great to talk to him. Avi even got to say hi and talked to him a little bit- it was rather adorable... we probably shouldn't tell him when she was saying "dada" she was pointing to an Elmo book...
Last night I watched some Mormon Messages on YouTube. They are so good! I was really hit by "My New Life", it is about a woman who survived an accident, but was disfigured due to burns. It really hit me because I worry that my husband doesn't really find me very attractive... The woman seems like a truly great person. I loved her perspective on the privilege and importance of motherhood.
I am 26 weeks now. I have been through five weeks of bed rest- I have ten to go. It is too bad bed rest is not a linear experience. It is more exponential experience of discomfort. But after this week we are into the single digits of weeks left, and for a how cute this little guy is going to be- it is totally worth it!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

I ruined Christmas on Thanksgiving

So I ruined Christmas today. I checked Gunnar's e-mail to see if he had read my e-mail I had sent him the other day, and I noticed an e-mail that said something like Amazon Kindle Fire: now shipped. I was so upset he had bought a $200 dollar Kindle when I had gotten him a Kindle Touch for Christmas. It had just arrived in the mail yesterday! It was a big deal for me to order him the Kindle Touch. I do not buy expensive things. So it was a huge stretch for me to spend that much money on a present. I am also a believer in libraries, but Gunnar thinks they are really cool and it would be useful especially while he is over seas... It was tough for me, but when you are in love you do crazy things. To see the e-mail was like heart break- my great Christmas present now ruined! Plus I have just had a really tough last couple days being really mad at him for choosing to be gone. REALLY MAD. So this was like the straw on the camel's back. I cried. I ranted to Erin, and then he called. I said happy Thanksgiving, and we chatted about his Thanksgiving, and then I told him he had ruined Christmas. He asked how and I told him he had ordered a Kindle Fire when I had already gotten him a Kindle Touch. he said he had not, I responded I had seen the e-mail, he asked if I had read it- I had not- he told me it was just an advertisement. I opened it and it was an advertisement. I so embarrassed. I was the one who had ruined the Christmas surprise for Gunnar.
We went to mom's for Thanksgiving. It was delicious! Avi like the candied yams- yes, I let her eat candied yams, but at least she was eating a vegetable... stuffing, not the creamed peas, not the turkey, not the potatoes, bur once she saw the rolls the she not eat anything else till she had one. She also loved the fruit salad. One of my favorites, was the homemade cranberry sauce my mom made- it was new to this year. We had a brownie pumpkin pie with some ice cream for dessert- quite decadent. (Avi had yogurt with oatmeal for dessert- she loved it- she tried to pick up the bowl to lick it out, but it had a suction cup bottom so she wasn't able to get it off the tray.)
For dinner Aliea and Jaxon were on the piano bench, we had the kitchen table and a card table at the end. Avi was at the card table and Warren put across from her. Warren commented at being at the kid table, we corrected him to say he was not at the kid table, he was at the baby table :).
After dinner and dessert were over and Warren had gone home, everyone but Wayne and I went into the kitchen for a dance party. It was so cute! The kids were so funny. I really wished I could have been the one dancing with Avi, but Erin was good with her. Avi had fun, until she saw the pretzels, after which she just wanted a pretzel.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Some Avi cuteness and Christmas begins before Thanksgiving

I am feeling behind the times. I found a site which has cute templates for blogs- but I cannot find the "design" button on my blog... to change mine, and on the new ones- which don't require you to find the design button, I keep coming up with an error. Am I doomed to a plain old blog with the basic template??
Avi cuteness:
-She sat in a round floaty and had me throw balls to her, so she sat there with a three balls piled up around her in the floaty.
-She loves to find places that are just the right height for her to sit. The bottom stair is ideal, the front of the treadmill... she even tried the little couch from the doll house, but she found it a bit too small for her.
-She loves the fishy- I think they are vinyls in the play room. She talks about them and loves to touch them. She was climbing over the Fisher Price farm to touch one, and thought it was cool so she was going back and forth (was that yesterday or today?)
-Today she was willing to wear the pilgrims hat from the dress ups. She was so cute! She then put on another hat that covered her whole head, and the silly girl went walking around until she hit into the wall. She is so funny like that, she put clothes over her head, or whatever and walk around until she hits into something, sometimes repeatedly! (maybe once I was laughing too hard to stop her from doing it more than once...)
-Tonight we had pizza and grapes. I had picked off the sun dried tomatoes off of mine. I had a grape on my plate and Avi came and stole the grape. She then grabbed one of the tomatoes that was burnt- it was blackened so I think she thought it was a grape. She took a bite and smiled she turned to Erin and gave her a big charcoal filled smile. We laughed that she like it. She chewed on it for what seemed like a whole minute. Then she took another bite and got to the part that was not burnt. At this point she realized she was not eating a grape. She spit it out- it was so funny!
-She has been such a love to me! She keeps coming up to me and giving me hugs. I LOVE it!
When I cradle her baby doll she comes to me and gets in my arms, so she can hold the baby and be cradled too.
-Her poop is looking better- so it looks like she is dealing with a milk allergy right now. She is still rashed, with a bumpy rash- so we are trying free and gentle huggies and not huggies brand. We put lavendar oil on and gave an oatmeal bath today. The surrounding redness has gone down, now we will see if the bumpy rash part goes away, if not we'll go to the doctor... With the rash looking better, the poop better, and her molar being broken in- she is a much happier baby. She was just so delightful today.
I read A Christmas Carol today. I had remembered it being short, but wow, really that is a fast read. At parts it feels almost funny to read because it is memorized from seeing the movies. It is a wonderful Christmas tale. I told Gunnar, (Ya! after two days of nothing I got to talk to him today!) I was reading it, and he laughed at me for reading it the day before Thanksgiving. But it is our book club book for the month, so I had to get it done before book club... that is in a couple of weeks :).
Erin is set up for Christmas, not that I have seen up stairs, but my tree is decorated. This evening I had the lights off in the room enjoyed the glow of the christmas lights on the tree. I know the Christmas tree upstairs is decorated and she put out her out door decorations. She told me Avi just loved them!
There is a part of me that doesn't want to do holidays. I am in bed and Gunnar is gone. It is funny- most of my life has not included Gunnar, but after only two years of holidays with him, I feel they are so empty without him.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Family Home Evening and complaining

Couldn't sleep till five a.m. the other night. Ugh. I don't understand why pregnancy is has to be so uncomfortable. The baby has found new ways to cause me pain, plus all the general pains I have been dealing with already. Start with morning sickness, then suffer some more... gosh good thing I love my babies, else I think I would really be done.
Last night I taught Family Home Evening. We talked about the first Thanksgiving, read a scripture on gratitude, then wrote down something we were thankful for on a strip of paper. We put it in a container and played pictionary and had to guess who's was who's, then we put them back in the container and played charades with them. Best moments-
1. Jaxon's was a bus driver. He happened to pick his for the pictionary round. He drew a man. We guessed several things- including a bus driver, but that was not it, he said- it was Jack Sparrow.
2. Wayne got the word family- so for his picture he drew a family of turkeys.
3. Erin got the word diaper- she drew Avi- with a diaper and tickling her belly- since that is what Avi loves to do when she is getting her diaper change- she had a word bubble saying "tickle, tickle..." since Ave says that as she tickles her belly. It is so funny- because Avi says it in the funniest voice- it is a throaty nasal voice- if that makes any sense.
4. Because of Erin's drawing, when Aliea got the word diaper for charades, she just tickled her belly.
5. and final- Aliea and Jaxon got together to do the last charade- it was Jaxon's bus driver. So they went off to plan how they were going to act it out. They came out with Jaxon riding on Aliea's back- Aliea was the bus.

I have been working on a crocheted jacket for the baby. The pattern has been the most confusing I have ever worked with. I am almost finished- sewed it together, to find out it is a joke. The body and sleeves are okay, the neck is ridiculously large! I think I am giving up- I think I am just going to take it apart and use the yarn for something else- I just don't like that because then the next item with have a lot of tied together pieces... humph!
It is pathetic how tired and sick I feel after playing with Avi for probably a half hour. How in the world am I going to take care of her and the new baby after three more months of bed rest?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Come Thou Fount... video

I got to Face book chat with Gunnar today. So that makes since last Sunday we have talked three times on the phone and face booked once. - averaging every other day. Not too bad, but my pessimistic side says that it is pathetic- a wife should be able to talk to her husband everyday! But hey at least we live in a time of modern technology!
I found this video on the blog that had ideas from the last Relief Society lesson in the ward. First of all, I love this song, second of all, it has a great shot of Uncle John, on Gunnar's side.
I had my visiting teacher come today!! They are very nice. They each have done bed rest too- well, one did one week and the other two weeks- does that really count?? Yes, it does, but it certainly is not the same as being down for months...
Little Avi's nose is running and she seems just slightly fevered. Goodness this poor kid- diaper rash coming and going like crazy, poop outs all the time, a little rash by her ear- looked better today, either a B12 deficiency or geographic tongue, molar coming in... Yet, she is still a pretty happy little kid. I don't think she'll ever out grow her sensitive skin. Well, I like hypoallergenic soaps and lotions better anyway.
I have a headache that is not really going away it started last night. I took a nap today, it helped, but it is still lingering. Hum, this is the longest I have ever had. I am pretty lucky that I usually have short headaches, so this is perplexing to me.
Erin put up a Christmas tree in my room- it is not decorated- just up. Avi was fascinated! Avi loves to play with balls. I think they and little cars are her favorites right now. Erin was telling me the other day when they were out they went to several different places- Avi loved it. We think Avi has the explorer spirit. She loves being out and going. She gets restless when she is in one place too long.
Did I mention I am 25 weeks now :)

Saturday, November 19, 2011


I am moved down to the basement now. I use to be in the on the main floor in the front 'sitting room'. I was up there so I could be close to what was going on. I was, but I was in the corner. So we moved me down here so Avi would be more comfortable to stay and play with me- not as much for her to get into, and it keeps her close.
Most of the day the family was gone, so yes, I did feel a bit isolated, I wanted to know what Avi was up to in the morning, but Erin brought her down for a kiss good bye before they left. Later we had great success in having her down here playing with me!! Ya! We mainly played with the Fisher Price barn and Mr./Mrs. Potato Head- I was so proud of Avi- she has developed the eye/hand coordination to put the pieces in the holes. Yes, her potato head mostly consisted of ears, but it was marvelous she could do it! She also grabbed the hats and would but them on her head :).
I got quite the surprise for Avi and Erin today... it was a snowball! Thankfully it brushed right off the blanket I was on :). Avi got to take it into the tub to play with it while it melted. 
Today I worked on putting pictures of temples around matting the frame a Proclamation to the World. I am getting closer to finishing- I need to put some pictures in place so I can cut the final ones and make sure everything is fitting. While I worked on that I listened to Elder Utchdorf's, Forget Me Not.  
I took a shower today- it is sad that especially this week it is note worthy... do I admit how how many days it has been? I had missed Gunnar yesterday- he had been on line wanting to skype! but I had no way of knowing- we had dinner and moved my room while he was on... he had said he hoped we could talk today- so I was guessing that there might be a chance to skype. So after my shower I was debating- do I put make up on? So I can look nice for Gunnar. I was wondering, got on Facebook, just in case he was on, and he called on the phone, so I ended up glad I had not bothered with the make up (don't get me wrong- I like wearing make up- I just don't see the point of wearing it unless I am going out right now). I was so glad to be able to talk to him, I felt we started off well, but I don't think I handled the rest of conversation well. I was telling him I had looked into stuff for his schooling, and I wanted him to check out the links and this and that... I don't know, maybe I was being too bossy, I just didn't feel right when it came time to say good bye- which was a minute and half earlier than normal...
I watched some of Lost today. Gunnar and I stopped at season five because all the characters just seemed so crazy and immoral, but really I think we stopped just when it was getting good! I am in season six now. Yes, they are still crazy and immoral, but it is not the same as the other seasons... I paused my episode to get Avi ready for bed. Wow, I love that little girl. Earlier while we were playing we got a blanket and rolled her up in it- so she was bundled up. She loved it. So tonight I bundled her up after her diaper change and did the rest of our routine with the cutest little bundle.
I was enjoying watching Lost, but really that enjoyment is nothing compared to getting Avi ready for bed. I cannot believe how much I love her.
** I had a picture to put on, but I can't figure out how to get a picture off my camera on a Mac...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Another hat and PT rejection

Well, I have watched a ridiculous amount of shows on the computer and just finished another hat for our little guy- I made a few changes, but I really enjoyed the pattern. I learned a new stitch and a new way of starting a project. I think it is adorable- I am excited for him to wear it! It is a Monkey ear hat.

I got to talk to Gunnar today. He was able to go to church this week- and he ended up singing- apparently he was singing with a few other guys before church and the bishop came up to them and asked to sing in meeting. It is truly amazing how quickly 15 minutes can go by. Every time he says it is time go I am shocked.
Ah, I was so addicted to looking at my split ends. I am so grateful I cut my hair right before bed rest. I have not been stuck looking at split ends so far- ugh I just glanced and saw a good one... I don't need to look again... I can resist... stupid split ends!
Yesterday, Erin was telling about the book she just finished- it was written by a man who lost his just after the birth of their daughter. The wife died because of a blood clot she got from bed rest. That was in 2008. That poor family! Well, a few minutes after hearing about the book I got a call from the physical therapist. He said my insurance had not authorized care- that is was not medically necessary. I told him it was ironic, from what I just had heard- he said if I do die from a blood clot, I can haunt them. I will be the ghost of Tri-Care.
Anyone who has done bed rest-really done bed rest (sometimes woman can get away with still being up- they just do it like house arrest)- knows how it destroys your body. I only had it for two months last time- my back hurt so bad after. It made my knees worse. Everything is stiff and sore, and you have no muscle, no energy... Yes, last time I did some light exercises and stretches- it is just really nice and comforting to have a professional be able to tell you what is safe for your baby and how to really deal and counter act some affects of bed rest. Oh well, at least I got one visit- so I know some tricks to help

Avi has a molar!

Avi's first molar has broken through! I was wondering... I thought it looked like her lower left gums looked like they could be preparing, and she has been more fussy and asking for "nanas"- her word for food a ton- I wonder if it because her mouth has been bothering her. I feel like she is so grown up- getting a molar!
I think my belly has had an additional "pop" I believe it is bigger. That is the second in the a week, I hope I don't end up with too many stretch marks.
I made our little guy this cute newborn ball cap. While staying up way too late watching some of season 5 of Lost.
Kesten came by yesterday to visit. It is amazing to have a friend like her. We have been friends for 14 years now, even through me living in five different states and going through, well, I don't know how many moves... What a blessing.
Book club was last night. There was a good sized group. It was a party! We had read The Giver. I had not read it for years. It thought it was an interesting mix of those that believe they die in the end and those that don't. For some there was no question, other like me debate it.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Perinatalogist visit 24 weeks

Perinatalogist appointment today. I am a 2.9- YA! so stayed steady for a week, my next appointment is not for two weeks- since I have been okay and we are past 24. The little guy is looking good. At first his  right kidney still looked dilated, but when the doctor looked, apparently he had relived himself, it looked normal :). But the intestines were showing up bright- which could from my bleeding before, or could mean cystic fibrosis, down syndrome, potential low birth weight, or nothing. The doctor asked if I wanted to get an amniocentesis to check for down syndrome, I was kind of shocked with one indicator that she would offer. I said we didn't need it. The only difference it would make anyway would I would do some research on down syndrome... he is right on for size and active. I am starting to get pains from him pushing up higher, I think he bruised my liver the other day ;).
Last night I was trying to straighten up a little, just in case my cervix had dangerously shortened and I would be admitted to the hospital. I know I am really blessed- things have been going well, but this is still horrible. I really hate bed rest. I hate not being able to take care of Avi. I hate that both me and my daughter are a burden on others. It is like the stupid deployment- I hate it. I want it just to be over but there is nothing I can do. I can only choose to have a better attitude, some days that is harder than others. I just lay around I shouldn't be the one complaining. I can't change it so I just have to deal. I am tired of the fear, I am tired of my body being sore and weak, I am tired of me and Avi being a burdening others. I want Gunnar home, I want him to here taking care of us, I want to be up. Maybe I am not dealing very well tonight...
Avi cuddled up to me tonight as I sang to her. I love her cuddles. She slept through the night last night! She is distinctly saying "no". She is getting taller- her dresses are shorter on her and she needed new tights. Today dinner was later than usual. I think Avi thought we were trying to starve her. I gave her a piece of bread to snack on, then some bites of dried fruit. I put away the food. Avi came over got my snack tupperware and carried it out crying for more food. It was rather cute, considering the box is at least half of her. She just had had some so I had her wait, but I snuck in a banana before dinner too.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Sugar and Insurance- both trouble

I just watched Sugar: The Bitter Truth. Maybe I had a bowl of ice cream as I watched it :). But wow, I really need to cut down on sugar intake- basically he goes through the biochemistry of how fructose is metabolized- and the out come is that it is a poison to your body. And of course the more you eat, the higher propensity you have towards it, and the same goes for if you are pregnant- the more sugar crosses to the baby the higher propensity they have towards it too. Though poor Avi got her dose in the womb, I am so thankful I am being careful with her now. I need to catch up in my habits though- I am so addicted!

Let's see, today I had more trauma with Tri-Care, turns out they put me on the wrong plan- I am suppose to be Prime-remote, I am on Prime, I call they say I am not eligible for either since Gunnar is not living with me- nonsense! Finally I talked to a friend who's husband was recently deployed and she gave me the number to a DEERS facility in UT and I was able to talk to them. I need to Fax in some forms, but hopefully everything goes smoothly and I don't have to keep jumping through their hoops.
We watched a bit if the "The Shaggy Dog" this evening. Avi loved it when they would show the dog. She was so funny, because there would be a shot of the dog, then a shot of a human- when the dog disappeared, she would turn to us with hands up wondering where the dog had gone to, and by the time she turned back around to look at the screen, she missed the next shot of the dog and the shot would be back humans. The movie didn't keep her attention for too long, she got up on the couch and climbed around on me- she was so smiley and adorable.
She has had poops out everyday for the last two months, I called and asked her pediatrician about it, he said to try not giving her milk for about a week, she doesn't drink very much, but we'll try it to see if that makes a difference.
I got to talk to Gunnar today. I am so glad. I was feeling the strain of not talking to him, even though it had only been a day. Poor guy, I might have been a little emotional when he called. I really miss him.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Sunday and this and that

I am very excited- Diana wants one or two cocoons too! I really didn't know if people would buy them, so this is exciting. I am finding out I am not very business oriented- I had not thought about shipping or method of payment- poor Diana is having to deal with me figuring these things out. I hope she- and who she gives them to enjoys them!
When we got my wedding ring we got it just a touch bigger, just in case I got pregnant someday and my fingers would swell. Now I am on my second pregnancy and my poor ring keeps falling off. Oh, well with the way I eat- it is going to pay off having a bigger ring probably faster than I want.
We made it viability!! Things just get better from here! Well, maybe not my strength and soreness... but it is worth it! I was reading posts from other women with incompetent cervix, each had stories of lost. How am I so blessed? I am so thankful I do not have a true incompetent cervix- my has at least enough competence to make this this far.
Yesterday Aliea and I made jewelry. Aliea got a kit for her birthday and used it to make a necklace and I used my stuff to make Avi another bracelet. I made it to go with her Sunday outfit today, but Wayne got her dressed for church and the bracelet didn't happen.
I had the sacrament brought to me! I really appreciated having the opportunity to receive it.
I watched Elder Waddell's talk from the priesthood session. His focus is on missionary work- talking to missionaries and return missionaries. He told return missionaries to think about the lessons they learned on their missions and to apply them to their lives and they still need to be missionaries. On the mission you are so busy doing the Lord's work. I want to be able to use my time wisely and be productive. It is somewhat frustrating on bed rest, but I have been blessed to keep "busy" these last three weeks- they really haven't been too bad. Thankfully though this talk help me think of something I should be doing anyway, but hadn't 'found the time' when I was up- family history! What a great opportunity I have right now to do the Lord's work, from bed. I had my first indexing experience and realized I have a lot of work to do verifying the work what has been done in my family and then I can move on from there.
Mom and Em came over for the primary program today- I extra sad to be not be able to go to church, the Primary program is one of my favorite Sundays of the year. They stayed for dinner and dessert- everything was so good- a little too good ;), I ate a bit too much.
Avi is every learning her routine. Usually when Erin or Wayne come to pick her up to bring her up to bed she starts crying. Now she starts crying when I turn off the lights and say a prayer with her and try to sing to her... Next time I think I leave the lights on.
Avi loves being flipped around. I put her on my legs and lower them, guiding Avi through a flip. She wants to do it again and again, and when I have her on my lap she leans backwards on my legs to go for a flip. Seriously this child is born for tumbling. 

Friday, November 11, 2011

Baby Cocoons for sale and Veterans' Day

Veterans' day. Well I didn't get to communicate with Gunnar today, but he did 'take me out to eat'-in a way... Chilli's resteraunt was kind enough to give me the free veterans' day meal- chicken tacos, that were delicious! It was exciting to get take out- and I so appreciated their kindness.  It was almost like going out- only in I stayed in bed. You know- eating a meal in bed is just not as exciting if you have to do it constantly...I wonder if I will ever be excited for breakfast in bed again.

So these last few days I started watching some shows on Hulu and Jane Eyre while I croched. I am making hooded baby cocoons- I hope to be able to sell a few (I am selling them for $25). I think they are adorable. I want to do something productive while I am down. Cute Alex-use to be Chipman- wants one. I was delighted. It is a fun excuse to reconnect too!
The other night I dreamed we were in the neighborhood in Highland that use to be our ward when we lived there. I had taken Avi trick-or-treating. By the time we got to the end of part of the block I realized I had been foolish to get up. I could feel the baby was low-putting pressure on my cervix. The house at the end of the block belongs to a sweet couple with a severely handicapped daughter. In my dream, the daughter with a little bit higher functioning, but still greatly handicapped. I interacted a little bit with the girl, and I knew because I had gotten up, my baby was going to come early and be handicapped. I was trying to get someone to go back to where we had parked and get the truck, so I wouldn't have to walk/be up anymore. I felt foolish- that they would be thinking that I was being lazy not to get it myself, but more than foolish I felt scared- getting mad at myself for risking my baby by being up and feeling that pressure low- being so scared he was going to come that day.
Tomorrow we are week 24- viability. I was so nervous these last two days- what if we didn't make it? What if I loose him now? I sat up a little bit while I was playing with Avi- is that going to cause him to come?

Well, I am glad tomorrow is soon. I am glad he is still in.
A few years ago I was at Jennica's and we watched some episodes of "Grey's Anatomy". So this evening- I decided to try to watch the newest episode on Hulu. The intro talked about how we, society, say we "had a terrible day" so often- for maybe getting caught in a traffic jam or fighting with the boss.... then it shows a man coughing up blood, and the episode proceeds to be a very traumatic one, and ends by saying when something truly terrible happens, we are left wishing we only had to deal with the fight or the traffic jam. Okay, so my life is pretty great right now! It really is.
Let's see- I have a beautiful little girl, that I adore. I have not lost my baby. I have a husband that loves me- even if it is only distantly ;). My family and friends are alive and pretty healthy. I have a sister and her family to take care of me and my baby. Maybe tomorrow I will keep going, but right now I am feeling so tired! I am so blessed.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Dr. appointment...

I went to the doctor today. My perinatalogist was not there. I went back down to a 2.8. The cervix is dynamic, but still, going from a 4.5 to a 2.8 in a week and half- ugh. I need to be more careful- I have been doing bed rest, but since my cervix was so long I was sitting up and moving around (crawling around with Avi mostly) more. The important thing is that I am above a 2.5- that is the start of the 'danger zone'. The perinatalogist there said they usually don't do cervical length checks after 24, but she thought I should be monitored. So we will will see what happens next week.
My kind mother has let me borrow her lap top so I can have the internet. The school district just gave them new lap tops and the let the teachers buy their old ones if they wanted to- mom had chosen to do so. What a blessing that I am able to use it!
I got to talk to Gunnar today!! Poor guy was sick yesterday. He was cute because he said it is probably not as bad as being pregnant. I agreed... But sick is not fun. I am glad he is feeling better today.
Avi is loving Erin. I am glad she loves her, and Erin takes good care of her, but it kind of hurts as she doesn't want to come to me more and more. Part of it, is Avi is having a tough time with her sleep, so she is getting grumpy and clingy.
Don't me wrong, Avi still plays with me. It just is a matter of timing. Last night, for FHE we watched "The Zoo Keeper"- I would suggest not watching it. It not worth your time. But Avi loved to see the animals. She got so excited! It was sooo cute!
This morning Avi came toddling into my room- she loves the curtains that separate my room from the hall- easy peek-a-boo. She had her arms up and a huge smile. It really made my day. She would come in and hurry out, and then come back in. I think the best joys come with motherhood.
Last night I finished the third book to "Work and the Glory". I am really enjoying them. It is helping me to get a better visual of where things were at in Church history, as well as bring up things I need to work on- like not murmuring and forgiveness. It has motivated me to start reading the D&C again.

Oh, acid indigestion! I thought it was suppose to wait off till third trimester... I've got my trusty tums, and I am waiting to see if I need to get something more serious to help. It's okay to have four at a time right??

Avi's Christmas Photo Shoot

So most my favorites I don't have on here, because I am dealing with a MAC- thanks to my wonderful mother! So at least I have a computer, but I am not computer savvy enough to figure how to get my pictures rotated!! I decided better to wait off than put sideways pictures on.
I thought it was funny of me to do Christmas pictures in October, but now on bed rest- I think it was inspiration!

Pictures!! Including the cutest lamb hat ever!

 Avi trying out her little brother's new car seat. She thought it was nice of me to get her a new toy.
 Jennica gave us some 'warrior' head bands! If you look close you can see I have a little bump- 18 weeks.
 Avi's first time in the sand box.

 Avi loves black bean soup!
 I love Avi's lamb hat!!

 Avi loves Alice.

Avi looking for grapes

Sunday, November 6, 2011


Well, Avi is going to have to carry the rest of the family on her spiritual strength, because she is the only one going to church... Gunnar thought he would be able to, but something came up. Goodness, our apostate family!
I read some the general conference Ensign. Elder Holland's talk in the priesthood session is so powerful. I have felt some apprehension having a boy in our world filled with filth. I pray he will follow the counsel of the gospel and keep himself clean. That he will be able to worthily answer his call to serve a mission. I thought it so exciting Elder Holland said there needs to be tens of thousands more missionaries out there! The work is going to progress and escalate!
I was able to talk to Gunnar for a few minutes. I talked to his mom today about how it is kind of funny talking to him, because it is so one sided. I don't know if Gunnar is just following his training, or going over board with being careful, but really he tells me nothing! If I do get something out of him, it is really vague. So our conversations are usually me just talking to him. Yes, I am a talker, but after this long, conversations don't feel exactly fulfilling with only one person talking all the time. Okay, in his defense he did tell me how he was trying to organize the book shelves over there- it was almost strange to have something to listen to. I am sure when he comes back I will have a hard time listening to him talk- and I bet he will have a hard time adjusting to having a family around. We had been working at over coming that before he left- I am afraid any progress made from him learning he is not a bachelor anymore will be gone...Good thing we love each other.
Well, that was probably TMI...
I worked on a photo book. I am amazed how much time it takes!! But it was free!
Avi has been folding her arms a lot the last two days. Sometimes I'll say a little prayer with her. Sometimes I think she is anxious for food (okay when is she not- I think she is going through a growth spurt!) and also it is a new thing she has learned to do.
When she wakes up happy from a nap she is content to play in her bed for a while. I love 'spying' on her with the video monitor. She is just soo cute! Today she took off her pants and was very proud of herself, yesterday she took off her socks and threw them out of the bed- looked where they landed and said, "Uh-Oh".
I had felt a bit down from not talking to Gunnar two days in a row, then I was able to talk to him for a little bit last night and this morning. After this morning's chat I wondered why I still felt a bit down. I looked out the window at the lightly snowed covered outdoors and realized- I am pregnant, on bed rest, it is winter, and my husband is across the world and irregularly briefly talks to me- no wonder I feel a bit down sometimes!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

week 22/week 2 of bed rest

Fairy wings at Sonja's
We are now to week 23. One week more to viability!
I met my new doctor this week. I think she is fabulous! If anyone is looking for a good Ob/Gyn in American Fork- I recommend: Dr. Tennille Cloward. I like the office better- they have you label your sample cup- I could not believe the last office didn't, and they would just have you set it on the counter with other cups-Scary!... but really she was so so nice. She listened, and is open to doing regular checks to monitor cervical length. I was impressed and very happy I had changed!!!
Sweet Sonja picked us up and took me to the appointment. She picked up a friend's two little girls, and after the appointment we went to her apartment and had lunch and Avi kind of played with the girls.
Kesten was a lifesaver and brought dinner that night-Aliea was sick, and Erin has a sinus infection. I could not believe how kind Kesten is! It was a great dinner that everyone enjoyed- Avi even had three bowls of pasta!!
Oh, the Dr. Cloward is so good- I asked about getting a physical therapist to come in- bed rest is killer to the body!! The next day I had one come to the house. He did an assesment and we will see if Tricare says it is medically necessary for them to keep coming, but I felt better just from the one visit, at least a little bit, for a little while...
I made Avi a bracelet. She is so cute!! Poor kid still has a bit of a cold, but on the upside for me- she was really cuddly today. The compassionate service leader offered to have the kids come play at her house today for a bit. They said Avi did really well, though she would worry when the kids would switch to another room. After a while she got tired, so she watched football with the dad. When they told Erin this- they were kind of nervous how she would respond- Erin replied that Avi's father would be proud.
We watched "Captain America" tonight. I thought it was fun. I wonder if Gunnar has seen it, I think he would enjoy it. I really liked that the hero was moral. I also thought he was adorable when he was scrawny!
Last night Erin and Wayne went to a seminary dinner so mom came over to baby/invalid sit. She brought us dinner- yum! After the kids were put to bed we watched a "Monk" episode. It is so nice to have family around.
Oh, 22 week visit- I was 129. Up from 125 on the 20 week visit, but I went from flip flops and short sleeves to boots and a sweater, so I think there was about two pounds of clothing. But my tummy is growing! Last night I was sure I was going to wake up with stretch marks!
Well, Gunnar has been gone close to two months, seven more to go. Ugh!
I am on the third Work and the Glory book. In the second the character Lydia has a hard time with her husband being gone a lot- for missions and other things he wants to do for the church. I was glad I was not the only one who has a hard time- though it is fictional... Near the end, he learns he needs to be more aware and caring of his family, and she finds help in D&C 25:14 "...let thy soul delight in thy husband." I have been trying to remember this. I think it is one of those things I should 'needle point on a pillow'... When he is around I have so many more expectations- which can result in well, let's just say I need to do better at delighting in my husband. In the meanwhile I just wish we could talk regularly. I do okay missing a day here and there, but when it goes beyond that I start to go a little crazy.
I should mark out the days we talk and really see. I feel like it is about three times a week, which I feel is not enough. But I am thankful the Lord has answered our prayers and his schedule is allowing him to go to church right now.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


 Avi in Jaxon's Jack Sparrow hat.
 tried to get pictures of Avi on Halloween...
Poor Avi has a bit of a cold. Aliea is throwing up. Erin has a sore throat. I hope I can stay well! Today Erin was out running errands- one of which was to turn in the Halloween candy for money! Avi made her first $2!! What an industrious 15 month old!
Erin said since it was cold she put Avi's hat on her. Avi cried and try to fight it, but then they went out in the cold- Avi was shocked. She was grabbing at her face as if she was wondering what the strange horrible things on her face was- this cold air!
Avi was tinkerbell for Halloween! What a cutie!! I was perfectly delighted- she was adorable! I went with her to one house. The candy bowl was out and Jaxon just grabbed a piece for her and put it in her bucket- not how I had imagined it going, but at least I got to see her first house! Erin and Wayne said she held onto her little bucket for the rest of the night and was very good at putting the candy in it. She did try eating a few pieces, but they told her no and she stopped.