Baby Cocoons for sale and Veterans' Day

Veterans' day. Well I didn't get to communicate with Gunnar today, but he did 'take me out to eat'-in a way... Chilli's resteraunt was kind enough to give me the free veterans' day meal- chicken tacos, that were delicious! It was exciting to get take out- and I so appreciated their kindness.  It was almost like going out- only in I stayed in bed. You know- eating a meal in bed is just not as exciting if you have to do it constantly...I wonder if I will ever be excited for breakfast in bed again.

So these last few days I started watching some shows on Hulu and Jane Eyre while I croched. I am making hooded baby cocoons- I hope to be able to sell a few (I am selling them for $25). I think they are adorable. I want to do something productive while I am down. Cute Alex-use to be Chipman- wants one. I was delighted. It is a fun excuse to reconnect too!
The other night I dreamed we were in the neighborhood in Highland that use to be our ward when we lived there. I had taken Avi trick-or-treating. By the time we got to the end of part of the block I realized I had been foolish to get up. I could feel the baby was low-putting pressure on my cervix. The house at the end of the block belongs to a sweet couple with a severely handicapped daughter. In my dream, the daughter with a little bit higher functioning, but still greatly handicapped. I interacted a little bit with the girl, and I knew because I had gotten up, my baby was going to come early and be handicapped. I was trying to get someone to go back to where we had parked and get the truck, so I wouldn't have to walk/be up anymore. I felt foolish- that they would be thinking that I was being lazy not to get it myself, but more than foolish I felt scared- getting mad at myself for risking my baby by being up and feeling that pressure low- being so scared he was going to come that day.
Tomorrow we are week 24- viability. I was so nervous these last two days- what if we didn't make it? What if I loose him now? I sat up a little bit while I was playing with Avi- is that going to cause him to come?

Well, I am glad tomorrow is soon. I am glad he is still in.
A few years ago I was at Jennica's and we watched some episodes of "Grey's Anatomy". So this evening- I decided to try to watch the newest episode on Hulu. The intro talked about how we, society, say we "had a terrible day" so often- for maybe getting caught in a traffic jam or fighting with the boss.... then it shows a man coughing up blood, and the episode proceeds to be a very traumatic one, and ends by saying when something truly terrible happens, we are left wishing we only had to deal with the fight or the traffic jam. Okay, so my life is pretty great right now! It really is.
Let's see- I have a beautiful little girl, that I adore. I have not lost my baby. I have a husband that loves me- even if it is only distantly ;). My family and friends are alive and pretty healthy. I have a sister and her family to take care of me and my baby. Maybe tomorrow I will keep going, but right now I am feeling so tired! I am so blessed.

Dr. appointment...

I went to the doctor today. My perinatalogist was not there. I went back down to a 2.8. The cervix is dynamic, but still, going from a 4.5 to a 2.8 in a week and half- ugh. I need to be more careful- I have been doing bed rest, but since my cervix was so long I was sitting up and moving around (crawling around with Avi mostly) more. The important thing is that I am above a 2.5- that is the start of the 'danger zone'. The perinatalogist there said they usually don't do cervical length checks after 24, but she thought I should be monitored. So we will will see what happens next week.
My kind mother has let me borrow her lap top so I can have the internet. The school district just gave them new lap tops and the let the teachers buy their old ones if they wanted to- mom had chosen to do so. What a blessing that I am able to use it!
I got to talk to Gunnar today!! Poor guy was sick yesterday. He was cute because he said it is probably not as bad as being pregnant. I agreed... But sick is not fun. I am glad he is feeling better today.
Avi is loving Erin. I am glad she loves her, and Erin takes good care of her, but it kind of hurts as she doesn't want to come to me more and more. Part of it, is Avi is having a tough time with her sleep, so she is getting grumpy and clingy.
Don't me wrong, Avi still plays with me. It just is a matter of timing. Last night, for FHE we watched "The Zoo Keeper"- I would suggest not watching it. It not worth your time. But Avi loved to see the animals. She got so excited! It was sooo cute!
This morning Avi came toddling into my room- she loves the curtains that separate my room from the hall- easy peek-a-boo. She had her arms up and a huge smile. It really made my day. She would come in and hurry out, and then come back in. I think the best joys come with motherhood.
Last night I finished the third book to "Work and the Glory". I am really enjoying them. It is helping me to get a better visual of where things were at in Church history, as well as bring up things I need to work on- like not murmuring and forgiveness. It has motivated me to start reading the D&C again.

Oh, acid indigestion! I thought it was suppose to wait off till third trimester... I've got my trusty tums, and I am waiting to see if I need to get something more serious to help. It's okay to have four at a time right??

Avi's Christmas Photo Shoot

So most my favorites I don't have on here, because I am dealing with a MAC- thanks to my wonderful mother! So at least I have a computer, but I am not computer savvy enough to figure how to get my pictures rotated!! I decided better to wait off than put sideways pictures on.
I thought it was funny of me to do Christmas pictures in October, but now on bed rest- I think it was inspiration!

Pictures!! Including the cutest lamb hat ever!

 Avi trying out her little brother's new car seat. She thought it was nice of me to get her a new toy.

 Jennica gave us some 'warrior' head bands! If you look close you can see I have a little bump- 18 weeks.

 Avi's first time in the sand box.

 Avi loves black bean soup!

 I love Avi's lamb hat!!

 Avi loves Alice.

Avi looking for grapes

Sunday

Well, Avi is going to have to carry the rest of the family on her spiritual strength, because she is the only one going to church... Gunnar thought he would be able to, but something came up. Goodness, our apostate family!
I read some the general conference Ensign. Elder Holland's talk in the priesthood session is so powerful. I have felt some apprehension having a boy in our world filled with filth. I pray he will follow the counsel of the gospel and keep himself clean. That he will be able to worthily answer his call to serve a mission. I thought it so exciting Elder Holland said there needs to be tens of thousands more missionaries out there! The work is going to progress and escalate!
I was able to talk to Gunnar for a few minutes. I talked to his mom today about how it is kind of funny talking to him, because it is so one sided. I don't know if Gunnar is just following his training, or going over board with being careful, but really he tells me nothing! If I do get something out of him, it is really vague. So our conversations are usually me just talking to him. Yes, I am a talker, but after this long, conversations don't feel exactly fulfilling with only one person talking all the time. Okay, in his defense he did tell me how he was trying to organize the book shelves over there- it was almost strange to have something to listen to. I am sure when he comes back I will have a hard time listening to him talk- and I bet he will have a hard time adjusting to having a family around. We had been working at over coming that before he left- I am afraid any progress made from him learning he is not a bachelor anymore will be gone...Good thing we love each other.
Well, that was probably TMI...
I worked on a photo book. I am amazed how much time it takes!! But it was free!
Avi has been folding her arms a lot the last two days. Sometimes I'll say a little prayer with her. Sometimes I think she is anxious for food (okay when is she not- I think she is going through a growth spurt!) and also it is a new thing she has learned to do.
When she wakes up happy from a nap she is content to play in her bed for a while. I love 'spying' on her with the video monitor. She is just soo cute! Today she took off her pants and was very proud of herself, yesterday she took off her socks and threw them out of the bed- looked where they landed and said, "Uh-Oh".
I had felt a bit down from not talking to Gunnar two days in a row, then I was able to talk to him for a little bit last night and this morning. After this morning's chat I wondered why I still felt a bit down. I looked out the window at the lightly snowed covered outdoors and realized- I am pregnant, on bed rest, it is winter, and my husband is across the world and irregularly briefly talks to me- no wonder I feel a bit down sometimes!

week 22/week 2 of bed rest

Fairy wings at Sonja's

We are now to week 23. One week more to viability!

I met my new doctor this week. I think she is fabulous! If anyone is looking for a good Ob/Gyn in American Fork- I recommend: Dr. Tennille Cloward. I like the office better- they have you label your sample cup- I could not believe the last office didn't, and they would just have you set it on the counter with other cups-Scary!... but really she was so so nice. She listened, and is open to doing regular checks to monitor cervical length. I was impressed and very happy I had changed!!!

Sweet Sonja picked us up and took me to the appointment. She picked up a friend's two little girls, and after the appointment we went to her apartment and had lunch and Avi kind of played with the girls.

Kesten was a lifesaver and brought dinner that night-Aliea was sick, and Erin has a sinus infection. I could not believe how kind Kesten is! It was a great dinner that everyone enjoyed- Avi even had three bowls of pasta!!

Oh, the Dr. Cloward is so good- I asked about getting a physical therapist to come in- bed rest is killer to the body!! The next day I had one come to the house. He did an assesment and we will see if Tricare says it is medically necessary for them to keep coming, but I felt better just from the one visit, at least a little bit, for a little while...

I made Avi a bracelet. She is so cute!! Poor kid still has a bit of a cold, but on the upside for me- she was really cuddly today. The compassionate service leader offered to have the kids come play at her house today for a bit. They said Avi did really well, though she would worry when the kids would switch to another room. After a while she got tired, so she watched football with the dad. When they told Erin this- they were kind of nervous how she would respond- Erin replied that Avi's father would be proud.

We watched "Captain America" tonight. I thought it was fun. I wonder if Gunnar has seen it, I think he would enjoy it. I really liked that the hero was moral. I also thought he was adorable when he was scrawny!

Last night Erin and Wayne went to a seminary dinner so mom came over to baby/invalid sit. She brought us dinner- yum! After the kids were put to bed we watched a "Monk" episode. It is so nice to have family around.

Oh, 22 week visit- I was 129. Up from 125 on the 20 week visit, but I went from flip flops and short sleeves to boots and a sweater, so I think there was about two pounds of clothing. But my tummy is growing! Last night I was sure I was going to wake up with stretch marks!

Well, Gunnar has been gone close to two months, seven more to go. Ugh!

I am on the third Work and the Glory book. In the second the character Lydia has a hard time with her husband being gone a lot- for missions and other things he wants to do for the church. I was glad I was not the only one who has a hard time- though it is fictional... Near the end, he learns he needs to be more aware and caring of his family, and she finds help in D&C 25:14 "...let thy soul delight in thy husband." I have been trying to remember this. I think it is one of those things I should 'needle point on a pillow'... When he is around I have so many more expectations- which can result in well, let's just say I need to do better at delighting in my husband. In the meanwhile I just wish we could talk regularly. I do okay missing a day here and there, but when it goes beyond that I start to go a little crazy.

I should mark out the days we talk and really see. I feel like it is about three times a week, which I feel is not enough. But I am thankful the Lord has answered our prayers and his schedule is allowing him to go to church right now.

Halloween

 Avi in Jaxon's Jack Sparrow hat.

 tried to get pictures of Avi on Halloween...

Poor Avi has a bit of a cold. Aliea is throwing up. Erin has a sore throat. I hope I can stay well! Today Erin was out running errands- one of which was to turn in the Halloween candy for money! Avi made her first $2!! What an industrious 15 month old!

Erin said since it was cold she put Avi's hat on her. Avi cried and try to fight it, but then they went out in the cold- Avi was shocked. She was grabbing at her face as if she was wondering what the strange horrible things on her face was- this cold air!

Avi was tinkerbell for Halloween! What a cutie!! I was perfectly delighted- she was adorable! I went with her to one house. The candy bowl was out and Jaxon just grabbed a piece for her and put it in her bucket- not how I had imagined it going, but at least I got to see her first house! Erin and Wayne said she held onto her little bucket for the rest of the night and was very good at putting the candy in it. She did try eating a few pieces, but they told her no and she stopped.